I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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