everyone is single if you try hard enough
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
