Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This house was built for laser tag.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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