he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
