I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
