It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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