I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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