i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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