nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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