I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
