I'm drive I can fine osifer
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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