how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
