On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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