we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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