shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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