i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
