FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
