Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i've created a new STD.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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