Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
