After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
