Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
