So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
