Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
