Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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