I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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