omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
