is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
