let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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