um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
