There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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