wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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