So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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