He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
