Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
