false alarm. still invincible.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
