yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you will always have a special place in my vag
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Congratulations! We have a period
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