I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
