He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
