All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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