Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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