Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
