Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
