After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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