Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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