Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
