so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
