It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
