grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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