so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
