I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
