My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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