her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
