dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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